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Kales
22 January 2009 @ 02:23 am





Friends Only, Darlings.
Add as a friend, or cont
act me for more information.

 
 
Kales
15 March 2007 @ 06:48 pm
Ive recently just realized how much i got involved with someone that i ignored everyone around me.
I suppose it was a slow thing, but a year ago when I lost a lot, when I thought i had nothing, i finally had someone. Something. It was great, but looking back I was so involved in this, this having someone to call them mine, someone that appreciated me, who said sweet things to, someone who i could say anything to and they would laugh and think it was great that i was that way. It gave me confidence. But as i was appreciating this so much, i forgot to appreicate a lot of things. I would rather spend my time watching a movie, or quit literally  sleeping with someone next to me. I gave up everything else.
His friends became my friends, I mean, there was a once in a while when i would hang out with my own. But that wasn't a normal thing. I was so wrapped up in this fascinating time that i couldn't be bothered to wonder what would be left when I turned around and he wasn't there.
So now, after that happening, when i have nothing once again. I realize what I should have done.
I should have made sure i kept in contact. I should have went out more. I should have made better friends outside this world. Because regardless of how great these people are. People will be friends with whoever is the most convenient. Ive seen this happen personally.
Its easier to replace a human being then I could have ever thought possible.
Yes, there will always be your close friends that will stick by you no matter what
But people have their own things to do. They cant, and don;t think to themselves 'Hmm i wonder how so and so is doing?" or "I wonder what they are up to" Unless there is nothing better to do. When it is convenient.
I guess im just frustrated with being alone. I pushed everyone away. Now im alone, again. I get really sad about it sometimes. I guess i just wish more people in the world gave a shit. But, one humanity has let me down lol. Just like when we elected harper and bush.
Just once i wish people knew i am always right in the end.

Anyways my main point here is, don't ever think someone is so great and amazing and all mighty powerful enough for you to get so involved there is nothing else in your life, because one day, they will be gone, or they will let you down, and you will curse yourself for it. For the pain you've put yourself in. For the mistake you made of not listening to yourself because you are hanging on to every last word that they say. Have more respect for yourself then that.

Now, I don't regret the experience, If not i would be able to share this, and I wouldn't be able to know what not to do. I wouldn't have done all the things i have done in the past 3-4 months, such as, get my license, be involved with improv again, get a membership at the gym and loose weight, and apply AND get accepted to school.
I KNOW i would not have even been close to these things if i was still in the same situation i was in then. I was on the same road he was on. Which leads to a dead end, on a cliff, without a warning sign.

Anyways. Enough of that.
-Kaleigh
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
Kales
09 March 2007 @ 05:34 pm
I GOT IN.



Party time? I think so.
 
 
Kales
05 March 2007 @ 02:02 am
Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry On Their Own


All I can ever be to you
Is a darkness that we knew

And this regret I had to get accustomed to
Once it was so right
When we were at our high

Waiting for you in the hotel at night
I knew I hadn't met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don't know why I got so attached
It's my responsibility
And you don't owe nothing to me
But to walk away I have no capacity

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And in this grey, in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

I don't understand
Why do I stress a man
When there's so many better things at hand
We could a never had it all
We had to hit a wall

So this is inevitable withdrawal
Even if I stop wanting you
A perspective pushes thru
I'll be some next man's other woman soon

I shouldn't play myself again
I should just be my own best friend
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men


He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And it's ok
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own

So we are history
Your shadow covers me
The sky above
A blaze only that lovers see

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And it's ok
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own


I wish I could say no regrets
And no emotional debts
And as we kiss goodbye the sun sets
So we are history
The shadow covers me
The sky above a blaze that only lovers see

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And it's ok
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own


He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And it's ok
My deep shade
My tears dry

He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day but i'm grown
And it's ok
My deep shade
My tears dry
 
 
Kales
27 February 2007 @ 12:17 am
Write fifteen statements, intended for different people. Never tell which one corresponds to whom. Write things you've always wanted to tell people.

1. Im so glad that we arent awkward anymore. I hate that we let all that time pass, that we missed all those milestones that should have been us together. In the past week I was happier then ive been in a long time. Thank you so much for thinking of me.

2.You never give yourself enough credit. You are the greatest. You are my inspiration, but you need to get some things in your head straightened out.

3. I think you are hilarious, you remind me of me, but cooler, and i am way jelous.

4. You dont even know how fond of you i am. Im sorry we have not hung out for like 2 months. I really think you are one of the coolest people i have ever met. Almost to the point where you are almost at celebrity status in my mind.

5. You hurt me. A lot, and as much as i tell myself it is going to be okay, I sometimes think it will never stop hurting. I know it was for the better, but there are so many questions left unanswered that I dont think i want to know the answer to. I dont miss you though, i miss the company.

6. Thank you. Thankyou for seeing something in me I would have never thought existed if you didnt fight with me to bring it to the surface. I am forever greatful. Thankyou for asking all the right questions and being so accepting. You dont know how much you have shaped who it is that I am as a person today.

7. I hate that you are so far away. That we are so close and we arent in the same country. You have been there always when i needed it the most. We must party sometime.

8. I dont even understand our relationship. There has been so many fucked up things happen, yet through it all we never let it affect us personally. Thankyou for being caring, for giving me the experiences you did, and always being so kind. You are one in very few gentlemen left.

9. I dont care what you think of me. I know what I think of me and thats all that matters. You are so judgemental because you hate yourself and that will never get fixed by anything you put inside your body, there has to be a change in your head. You are a great person, half the time.

10. I look for you everytime im there. You are always around, and sneaking up on me. I see you and my stomache jumps. You have no clue that i feel this way about you. You are such an interesting person, I wish i had the courage to get to know you better.

11. I know that you and innocently being you, and i love it. I love teasing you and even though i know nothing will ever come of us, i continue to love crushing on you.

12. I cant figure out what it is that keeps you being my friend. I hate that our scheduals are so opposite. You are such a good, pure person. Its hard to find people like that in this world. Thanks for being there, having such inspiring words, and having your head on straight, most of the time.

13. There is a weird connection between us, but I feel compeltley comfortable around you. We have seen eachother in our worsts, yet if affects nothing. Thanks

14. You always seem to have this sense of when I need help. Whenever I think ive hit rock bottom you pop out of nowhere and we have a good time. When in lonley, you are the only friend, when i am sad, you cheer me up, when i am bored, you surprise me with something to do.

15. I never know what you think of me, and i consiously avoid myself of knowing. You are a great friend, but sometimes you have no sypathy, or even notice that i am upset. But i thank you for being there oh so much and cheering me up so much.
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Jumberlake
 
 
 
Kales
Hey Girl
Is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand

So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you, baby
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't wanna think about it
Don't wanna talk about it

I'm just so sick about it

I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it(uh)
Feeling the blues about it(yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fate

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie

But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
Yeah

Now Girl
I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now(on now)
Maybe I should do the same(maybe I should do the same)
The funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you baby(baby)
And now, it's all just a shame
That I guess I was wrong

Don't wanna think about it(no)
Don't wanna talk about it(hm)
I'm just so sick about it
I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it(uh)
Feeling the blues about it(yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fate

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a LIE
But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
Yeah

What goes around comes around
Yeahhh
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeahhh
What goes around comes around
You should know that

Don't wanna think about it(no)
Don't wanna talk about it(hm)
I'm just so sick about it
I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it(uh)
Feeling the blues about it(yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fate

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around(shoulda known better)
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around(now it's breaking my heart)
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
(what goes around comes around, baby)
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
(what goes around comes around, baby)
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
Yeah

Yup
Yup
Yup(let me paint this picture for ya, baby)
Yup

You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And everytime you call him, all you get is a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
When you cheated, girl
My heart bleeded, girl
So it go without saying that should let the feeling hurt
Just a classic case scenario
Tell is always time
Girl, you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But girl, I ain't somebody
I'm out of sympathy
See..


What goes around comes back around
I thought I told ya
Hey(hey)
What goes around comes back around
I thought I told ya
Hey(hey)
What goes around comes back around
I thought I told ya
Hey(hey)
What goes around comes back around
I thought I told ya
Hey(hey)

Take it to em, J

Hey, hey, hey, hey(repeatedly till the end)

Haha
See
You shoulda listened to me, baby
Take it to em, J
Because
What goes around comes back around
Hahahaha
Ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: What goes around - Justin Timberlake
 
 
Kales
22 January 2007 @ 10:52 pm
I'm undecided about you again
I can be right that you're not here
It's double sided 'cause I ruined it all
But also saved myself
by never believing you dear


Everything good I deem too good to be true
Everything else is just a bore
Everything I have to look forward to
Has a pretty painful and very imposing before

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

I have too been playing with fifty-two cards
Just 'cause I play so far from my vest
Whatever I've got, I've got no reason to guard
What could I do but spend my best

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

And after waiting, fighting patiently on my knees
All the other stuff tired itself out first, not me
And in its wake appeared the touch and call of a different breed
One of the steps is getting wise and got me there and then got me

And what a thing to know what could be instead
Oh what a blessed curse to see
Took the agenda from its place in my bed
Made a merry paramour of me

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Saying there's nothing to it
Then lettin' it go by the boards

Oh sailor why'd you do it
What'd you do that for
Given the eyes to view it
As it goes by the boards
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
Kales
05 January 2007 @ 01:28 am
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm in over...

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind


It is truly amazing the sides of people you dont see, how quickley people can thow me away. Things are getting much better. I had a great day today with somone who made me feel better then ive felt in a long time. Kinda scares me a bit, but still good.
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
Kales
01 January 2007 @ 04:20 pm
I dont know if i can do this. I dont know if i have the strength. I keep thinking he'll call or show up or something, but he wont, and i can only blame it on myself this time. I just keep thinking I did this totally horrible thing. I know that it was probably for the better, but right now im just so lonley. I feel like i have no one.
How can i give up a years worth of memories?? The part that hurts the most is that all his stupid coats are still here and everything.
All i can think about is the good times of course. Not all the bad times. I need to think about all the bad times. Like when he always ignores my phone calls. How he treats me like crap. I havent really had a day alone with him in months. I missed him constantly anyways. Whats the difference now?
That i cant call him and tell him that i miss him and hes an asshole.
I hate this.
Im not strong enough.
 
 
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: The Fray
 
 
Kales
01 October 2006 @ 07:26 pm
Quite possibly on of the most beautiful songs in the world.


Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren
One that pushes me along and leaves me so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you

Little angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I'll never hear a word you say
Promised I would find a little solace
And some piece of mind
Whatever just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
over you


Weak and Poweless  - A perfect circle